27.6.06

من هيداك

"شو بدنا نبث بهالمحطة؟"
"سكس ...سكس .... من هيداك"
هذا مقتطف من إعلان لمسرحية كانت تعرض منذ خمسة عشر عاما في لبنان؛

من الواضح انّ الهدف من هذا الاعلان هو إعتماد استراتيجية "السكس بيّيع" التسويقيّة من اجل جذب الجمهور المتعطّش للسكس في لبنان؛

لكن ما مدى هذا التعطّش ، او الحرمان الجنسي المسبّب لهذا التعطّش، في مجتمعنا اليوم؟
النقاش حول الموضوع ابتدأ عفوياَ (كعفوية مظاهرة بس مات وطن) في مدونتي و احتدّ ليسبّب العداء بين بعض القرّاء؛
و بما انّني لست أنانيّاَ ، أودّ نقل النقاش إلى هذا المنتدى المحترم على أمل نشرالعداء بين عدد أكبر من القرّاء؛

فما رأيكم؟ هل الشاب اللبناني مكبوت؟ أم أنّه هائج أكثر من اللازم؟

هل اللبنانية مظلومة في مجتمع يسيطر عليه الرجل؟ أم هي تهوى فن الحرقصة؟

22 Comments:

At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 12:57:00 AM, Blogger hillz said...

i am sorry to tell you that ur questions fell in generalization and seek as well general answers as well..
i followed the 88 comments in ur blog but did not continue due to the whole atmosphere there..
I think to give an opinion in the subject, we must take alook on some researches and number.. any way i will follow the comments and give my opinion about certain points that will be discussed..

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 12:57:00 AM, Blogger JoseyWales said...

It took me 5 minutes to realize this was about SEX. And now, I have a headache.

Maybe Ecce Libano had a point that the Arabic language is "repressive" or at least not conducive to sex. Why is it "sex" and not "jins", my headache is getting worse.

As to the questions at the end Jamal, they are as relevant as the sex of angels, or the future of Arab nationalism.

Sex! Do it or don't. Just like Palestine liberation, just stop yakking about it. ;)

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:01:00 AM, Blogger Lycanthropy said...

as a psychiatrist , I think sex is the big gorilla in the room, on everyones mind, but no one talks about it . Most lebanese are sexually frustrated, as well as the rest of the arab world.
It is deeply rooted in our psyche due to our traditional society, so that although our society might looked externally modern, it is still hypocritical. Sex is still regarded as bad or unclean, especially for our female citizens.
Sex might be good for me , but definitely not good for my sister...
Sexual liberation will help move us forward, look at the most sexually liberated countries( scandinavia, western europe)they are the most peacefull and do the most to help others, while the most sexually repressed countries(Arab, Islamic)are the most volatile and violent.
just my opinion...

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 4:14:00 AM, Blogger hillz said...

"look at the most sexually liberated countries( scandinavia, western europe)they are the most peacefull and do the most to help others"

ha? i think that the high committe- suicide rates are in scandinavian countries.. ;)
and i don't know if usa falls in this category my friend (sexual freedom) but does that forbid violence within the american society??
just wanna say that it is not a cause/effect issue.. it's more complicated than that..
for me, i think there must be sexual education in schools, since sex is known to be one of the major factors that may lead to marriage success or failure.. and when a marriage succeeds hence a family MAY be built right.. hence a society MAY have less problems..
this sexual education is not found in lebanese schools..

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 6:37:00 AM, Blogger Ghassan said...

Hilal,
But why do you think that marriage is so essential to the formation of a family unit? And what if sex is to be enjoyed for what it is? Should sex be used only as an adjunct to marriage?

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 10:59:00 AM, Blogger AbdulKarim said...

Hiya tahwa fann el 7arqasa.

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 12:20:00 PM, Blogger Eve said...

من دلائل الكبت الجنسيّ:

- الزوّار الذين يصلون إلى المدوّنات عن طريق محرّكات البحث، وعبر استخدام الكلمات الجنسية من كل الأشكال والألوان.

- الجماهير الغفيرة لموضة المسرحيّات اللبنانية الأخيرة التي عالجت هذا الموضوع، مع أنّ المسرح اللبناني طول عمره بكش دبّان (بغضّ النّظر عن جودته)

- النّكت يلي ما إلها شغلة وعملة إلا هيفا

- الفانتازمات عن النساء اللبنانيات، منذ بداية انتشار الفضائيّات وحتّى اليوم، لأنّها تهتمّ بمظهرها أكثر من غيرها.

- الإعلانات، التي مهما اختلف نوع المنتوج، يحب أن تعرضها امرأة تمثّل جميع مقاييس الجمال التي ينبغي الالتزام بها، و"النّضال" لبلوغها...

بس بكل الأحوال، مش قصّة الحقّ عمين، ولا إذا البنت هي عم بتحرقص بالشب، أو الشّب هو المكبوت. القصّة بتشبه كل شي عم نستورده من برّه هالإيّام. بدنا نشبههم بالموضة، وبشو عم يلبسوا، وكيف بياكلوا، وبيتصرفوا، وبعيشوا... بدنا نشبههم حتّى بنشاطهم الجنسيّ، لأن هيدا هو مقياس النّجاح بالنسبة إلنا (كمان بدنا نشبههم بقرفنا من اللغة العربية وكل شي عربي، بس مش هون الموضوع). الفرق إنّو ما حدا هون محضّر لاسقبال كل هالتغيير بهل سرعة. أو يمكن اللي استقبلوه، بنضوج معيّن، نسبة كتير قليلة. أمّا البقية، فبيتفلسفوا وبيطلعوا نظريات. وبالوقت الحاليّ، أكتر واحد بيستعمل كلمة سكس عشر مرات وما فوق بحديثه، بأقل من دقيقة، بكون هو القبضاي وبيربح معنا.

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:29:00 PM, Blogger SH said...

لا أعتقد أن المشكلة هي في أننا نريد استيراد القيم الغربية وتطبيقها في عالمنا الشرقي بل أعتقد أن الشباب العربي يعاني من كبت جنسي بسبب التمسك بعاداتٍ اجتماعية لم تعد تتناسب مع عصرنا. ففي السابق كان سن الزواج في محيطنا يتراوح بين ال15 وال20 عام. فكان من الممكن أن يحافظ الشاب والفتاة على عذريتهما والامتناع عن خوض التجارب الجنسية أو العاطفية البحتة قبل الزواج. أما اليوم فان سن الزواج قد ارتفع بسبب ضيق الحال الاقتصادية وعمل المرأة وتعليمها. فالبنات في لبنان يتزوجن في 25 – 30 عام. فبات من الصعب الالتزام بقواعد المجتمع التي تجبر البنت على الامتناع من تلبية رغباتها الجنسية قبل الزواج. وهذا الوضع لا يؤثر على الفتيات فقط بل أيضاً على الرجال فان معدل مثليي الجنس في دول الخليج مثلاً ارتفع في الأعوام الأخيرة ليصل العام 2005 إلى حوالي 40%.
لا يجب التغاضي عن هذه المشكلة الخطيرة في عالمنا العربي بالقول أن من يطالب بالتحرر من العادات والتقاليد التي أصبحت بالية بأن هذه رغبة بالتمثل بالغرب. لأننا في هذه الحال نكون نسعى إلى تفاقم المشكلة وليس حلها.

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 1:32:00 PM, Blogger hillz said...

ofcourse, sex can be enjoyed for what it is and without family commitment.. yet this is related to the society culture..
that's not my opinion, i am talking about what happens in real in this region.. a family unit in the middle east is very important.. they look at the unmarried as someone lacking something.. yet this family unit may not succeed in case there is lack of sexual knowledge..
in lebanon (as in arab countries) a guy is not blamed for having sex yet , a girl (in most cases) is blamed.
even for girls who supports sexual freedom and when it comes to marriage there is an expand of retaining-virginity operations which means that there are still "social restrictions" that are followed by people when becoming a "productive" member of the society..
ofcourse this doesn't apply for all people, but for a high percentage of them..

Lycanthropy said:
"Sex might be good for me , but definitely not good for my sister..."

it explains it all..

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 2:31:00 PM, Blogger Eve said...

لم يرد في سياق تعليقي اتّهام لمن يسعى إلى كسر التّقاليد البالية. في الواقع، لم أرَ حتّى الآن ما يشبه هذه الأعمال التّحررية. فللكسر أصول، لا تتمثّل بالكلام لمجرّد الكلام، ولا "الطّحبشة" والتّحطيم كيفما كان، ولا عرض العضلات المفتولة، ولا الجرأة دون فعل وفعاليّة. يمكن كسر التّقاليد مثلاً من خلال نشر التّوعية عبر برامج التّربية الجنسيّة التي تبدأ منذ سنّ حديثة، وتثبت أنّ أجسدانا ليس نجساً، والبنت ليست عورة، والجنس ليس عيباً، وليس بالضّرورة عبر استنساخ بركات الفضائيّات... أمّا بالنّسبة لمن يتمثّل بالغرب أو بالصّين أو بالهنود الأوباش إذا شاء، فليست لديّ أيّة مشكلة معه، طالما أنّه مقتنعٌ بما يفعله ولا يحاول أن يبلع كلّ ما ينصبّ عليه بلعاً، ثمّ يفرضه كأنّه واقعنا بعينه.

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 3:12:00 PM, Blogger SH said...

أعتقد أن التربية الجنسية مهمة جداً خاصةً إذا أتيحت في المدارس وفي البيت فالتربية الجنسية هي مقدمة وخطوة إيجابية للتحرر من التقاليد السائدة والمؤدية إلى الكبت الجنسي لدى الشباب.
كما أعتقد أنه من المهم جداً التحدث في هذا الموضوع وإبداء الرأي على مثل هذه المواقع وخاصةً بين الشباب فان هذه المناقشات هي بحد ذاتها جزء من التوعية.

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 5:44:00 PM, Blogger Sasmen said...

Sex is not something to buy or to try or to exchange;
Sex is an expression of a love and a result of that a woman and a man feel they are one unit;
It cannot be a target by itself, if no, it will be like a sheap perfum, u put it in the morning, and u lose it in less than an hour. No one can deny what it gives as sensations, but these sensations will shut down and lead to depression and destruction. so i suggest something that is eternal, something that cannot be changed, but that keep ur real happiness.
now i have a question, for lebanese guys, do you accept that the one u want to live with all ur life is not VIRGIN? or even not touched? i guess not... how do you accept for yourself something you dont accept for her? thats it... sexual relation is for you a joy... a sign of masculin power... while it is not like that at all... by the way, if u think virginity is important, u already disrupted the virginity of a girl that will be a man's wife someday, and what will she or he do if he already like virginity?! so you are cruel, you want to use a girl, then send her away... do you think you are a man like that?!
Now you will say: she accepted so it is not my problem... i tell you virginity is not in hymen, but in u also... why do u think you are different from her...
Now, is the lebanese guy exited or suppressed? i guess he is a complex of everything... society, life, future, disagreement, difficulty of weddings... if he is condemned one day, a good lawyer can discuss and defend him ;) but it is still not a reason...
It is easy to introduce western habits in our community, but we must be careful from what we introduce... or mainly from the way it is in... WE, must make something to not accept a devastating tsunami... it is the role of the one who knows to clear the way of the one who dont know...
Now, our Lebanese girl, do u think you will find like her somewhere in the world???? so give her all the rights you have, she deserves them all and more...

 
At Tuesday, June 27, 2006 11:04:00 PM, Blogger zizou from Djerba said...

If I can compare Tunisia and Lebanon I would say that the young people in Lebanon are much more conservative than in my country.
When I came here last september I had a wrong idea about Lebanon. I guess I was influenced by LBC but also by the fact that some of the first names in lebanon are George, Jessica, Caroline and co which symbolized for me that at time a further degree of freedom (french culture influence may be ?). To my great surprise, I realized that this country situation is worse than mine. The freedom we see is just in surface, the people, the lebanese people are conservative and a large majority of its youth are sexually frustrated. the major blame for me goes to virginity which is still a big issue in Lebanon and this among all confessions. In my opinion, this is due to the shortage of men, the tremendous presence of the religious and family values and the lack of reproductive health rights. Moreover, the large prevalence of "arranged" marriages sustain this habit.
I'm not saying that in Tunisia virginity is no more a hot topic. But a large majority of young people came over it and I can even say that a large part of the young people I know will never marry a virgin. Sexual life is much more accepted by the society and the peers. This acceptance is in my opinion largely due to the tremendous increase in the average age for mariage and the banalization of abortion and hymenorraphy which facilitated a non "socially" risky sexual freedom. Additionally, students and workers mobility outside their home town increased the opportunities for sex.
Anyway ! these are my personal theories!
to add something constructive to the debate let me share with you some data of a study that the Lebanese National AIDS Program (where I'm working these days) sponsored in 2004

-( representative sample of the lebanese population. 3200 people).
- 30,8% of the non married respondents report a sexual activity
- 33% of the respondents had sex for the first time between the age of 15-20
- 16,8% of the sexually active were having non regular partners during the last year ( 30% of them were paying or receiving for that)
-13% of the sexually active were having sex with a regular partner apart from spouse
-61% of the sexually active had sex within the last week
-25% of those having regular partners used a condom during the last sex while 71% of those who had non-regular partners used it.

 
At Wednesday, June 28, 2006 2:28:00 PM, Blogger Youmna said...

This issue is so damn overrated. Sex happens, and then you die.
Why the heck is it so much debated, when even animals do it? It's just something natural, like breathing and eating and drinking, and a very normal and healthy part of a relationship.
As one of my teachers in college once said (pardon the crude language): "If the honor of a woman lies in that small piece of flesh between her legs, then where does a man's honor lie?"
Since so many marriages in Lebanon fail because of sexual incompatibility, and so much adultery happens and so many homes are broken as a result of it, and sooooooo many young people are repressed and frustrated, I think that our society needs to change its perspective towards the subject, not to "do like the West" but to become "normal" ;)

 
At Wednesday, June 28, 2006 3:11:00 PM, Blogger Fouad said...

"such a big issue for such a small tissue" as our anatomy professor so astutely put it :)

 
At Thursday, June 29, 2006 11:57:00 PM, Blogger Al-Fil said...

I don't know exactly to weigh in here, as I can't get married anywhere but 4 countries in the world. I'm hoping though....

I would say that virginity is overrated. I would never marry someone without making sure we're compatible in every way.

That doesn't mean I don't take sex seriously. If I'm dating someone special, I wait a while before doing it. But, "a while" is always relative.

But, whether it's in a committed relationship or not, I definitely don't think that sex outside of marriage ruins anything, as long as people are emotionally capable. I think what's more destructive than anything is judging other people for what they've chosen to do. You could miss out on someone very special through judgment

 
At Saturday, July 01, 2006 5:14:00 PM, Blogger Bashir said...

يخرب زوءك يا جمال شو شاطر

 
At Saturday, July 01, 2006 6:47:00 PM, Blogger bored said...

the arabic language is the most sexual language in the world. evidence is that you can say "bala ma3na" after almost everything that you say. perhaps this is because of our frustration. but seriously, everyone is getting laid. and those who are not are virgins because of social and religious issues. so it's really not an issue of language.

those who are saying that sex is overrated, i think that you are very wrong.
sex is very important. it is a basic biological and psychological need. everyone should have sex. with protection:)

so dear all, in muslim religions, something very progressive happened. chiite allowed for "zawaj el mout3a" and in egypt they allowed for "zawag 3ourfi" and even some christian sects around the world allow for sex before marriage. so the world is aknowledging today more than ever that sex is very important.

cheers
and hope this note will find you all well

i'm glad i fell over this blog.
it's cool, keep it up.

i have a slightly more boring blog, you can visit it if you like:

www.on-boredom.blogspot.com

 
At Friday, May 30, 2008 12:24:00 AM, Blogger Hero said...

من قلب بيحب أهل لبنان من قلب عاشق جمال لبنان من قلب مشتاق يزور لبنان من قلب بيدعى الله يهدى أهل لبنان و لا يدخل الشيطان بينهم و يجعلهم أحسن ناس بدعى من قلبى وبكل حب أن يوفق أهل لبنان ويبعد عنهم كل مكروه بدعى من قلبى و خايف يجرى فتنه تخلى الناس فى قلق و خوف من بعضها يا رب يحفظ لبنان و أهل لبنان و لا يدخل بينهم الشتات والحزن ويا مرحب الف مراحب بأهل لبنان فى مصر الغالية ويا رب يحفظنا جميعا من الحاقدين علينا بهديكم كلامى وفى قلبى أشواقى و بدعى الله أزور أحبابى و ياريت تراسلونى على أيميلى الشخصى عشان بس أطمئن على حبايبى أهل لبنان
My Email :heroegypt@gmail.com
تحياتى : مودى المصرى

 
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