Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Emile Lahoud:
First of all I'd rather answer the question that each one of you is asking himself. Why is
the chicken in Lebanon? Well, all that I can say now is that the presence
of the chicken in Lebanon is legal and temporary.

Rafiq El-Hairi:
Your information is not completely accurate. I am here to
inform you that the chicken actually was killed when crossing the road.
Let this be a reminder to you all that the balad is mashi and it will
smash everything that will stand in its way.


Mariam Nour:
What is a road? What is a chicken? A chicken is a road and a road
is a chicken! Wake up ya a'arab. This is a big lie, a conspiracy. Watch
the "a chicken for a new America" video and you'll know the
truth. The truth is within every enlightened one of us whether he is a
man, a woman, a chicken or a road. And after all, the fate of the water
drop is to join the big ocean.

Kornet Chehwan:
Maybe there were independence, sovereignty and freedom on the other side of the
road.

Elias El Murr (in a press conference):
The general security forces have been watching every little move of this chicken in the last
few days. As a matter of fact, this chicken turned out to be a rooster
with long feathers. Satellite images taken of this suspect has proved
that his boy is totally covered with weird diabolical tattoos. We are now
very certain that he is somehow related to a satanic group. And one
ritual of this group is to cross the road.

Fayrouz:
First of all this is not a chicken. It is "hajal Sannine" who lives
in "mayssel rim" and was just visiting his grandma in
"Kahloon". But I know who is spreading all these rumors. It is
"Rajeh".

Michel Aoun:
I am totally against the presence of any chicken in Lebanon. Personally and from experience, I think that some chicken think they are roosters until they try to cross the road and
surprise everyone of their chicken state, but I certainly I have to
object of putting them in a french knn because this way I look
nationalist.

Fouad Siniora:
Ha ha ha?ha ha ha. Such a dumb chicken
! Does she really believe that by moving to the other side of the road
she can escape from taxes?

Said Akel:
After inventing the alphabet
and spreading the glorious Phoenician civilization all over the world,
Lebanon, once again, proves to the whole world that despite being a small
country, it is capable of leading all the humanity to higher levels of
culture and knowledge by producing this, what I like to call,
"chicken culture".

Nasser Qandil:
Let's assume hypothetically that the chicken crossed the road. Then this will directly
lead to the fact that there is a road and a chicken in Lebanon. Now, have
anyone of you thought from where did Lebanon get this chicken and his
road, keeping in mind that he is a poor country that suffered of war for
many, many years? Yes, you're right, this road and this chicken are
donations of a neighboring country, which is very closely related to us.
It's like our brother or our sister if you want. Therefore, we
should?

Walid Joumblat: (Before the elections)
I am here to say that I totally support the courageous decision that this heroic chicken
took to cross the road. We have always demanded a repositioning of the
chicken groups in Lebanon

Walid Joumblat: (After the elections)
We completely condemn this careless act taken by this stupid
chicken.Every chicken must stand still in its place. And foreseeing the
danger threatening the region, I call for an increase in the number of
chickens all over the Lebanese territories.

Sleiman ElZghir:
I am here to deny the fact that the chicken crossed the road. For
your information, there is no chicken in Lebanon whatsoever. I shot them
all back when I was three years old.

Nassnouss:
Chicken is what I call every sahyouni try to cross the road to capture my chickens;
may allah destroy their nest, their eggs, and every feather they use to
sign a peace agreement with my chicken..

Hassan Nasrallah:
This is not a chicken, this is an amrican hen, imported from amrika with the
consent of their zionist friends. These chickens are remote controlled by
David Copperf...errr... Satterfield from the operations room that he has
set up in the amrican embassy. It is one sign of the new changes in the
country and we'll be seing more. Thankfully we have incorporated
new training procedure to train our brave fighters to take down
these chickens. We also have upgraded the cpu and ram of our missiles and
Mersad 1 drones so that we can track and shoot down the zionist chickens
in all lebanon and the zionist colonies.

Haifa Wehbeh:
Hihihi?yes, I saw a picture of this chicken on the news. It is so
small I like chickens. In fact, I have two BIG chickens that I carry them
with me wherever I go. I love them very much. And I think that every man
in Lebanon loves them too.