Understanding Men

So I realized that the lovely ladies, eve and rat, are trying to understand men, and so they came up with research questions in order to have an idea about how we "men" think and behave.

Nevertheless, I found (not "founded" the past tense of "found", but found the past tense of "find", I didn't came up with them) set of rules to make it easier for in understanding the "difference" between us and them, maybe this will help them in their task :)

These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1".

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (honesty is better)

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for (or tell us -in advance- that you want sympathy, not solutions)

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us; if we said "yes", then we don't find you attractive anymore, and if we said "no", we are mean jerk liars!!!!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one (We really do mean the other one).

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done, Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials ( No need to open "serious" talks during the final game!)

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle (because some how we end up being mistaken!!!)

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the problems with the corrupted boss ... etc

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Hope this was useful :)