Understanding Men

So I realized that the lovely ladies, eve and rat, are trying to understand men, and so they came up with research questions in order to have an idea about how we "men" think and behave.

Nevertheless, I found (not "founded" the past tense of "found", but found the past tense of "find", I didn't came up with them) set of rules to make it easier for in understanding the "difference" between us and them, maybe this will help them in their task :)

These are our rules! Please note, these are all numbered "1".


1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (honesty is better)

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for (or tell us -in advance- that you want sympathy, not solutions)

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us; if we said "yes", then we don't find you attractive anymore, and if we said "no", we are mean jerk liars!!!!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one (We really do mean the other one).

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done, Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials ( No need to open "serious" talks during the final game!)

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle (because some how we end up being mistaken!!!)

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, the problems with the corrupted boss ... etc

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Hope this was useful :)


At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 7:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 8:17:00 PM, Blogger MMMMMMMMM said...

Hilarious!! good research!!!

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 10:05:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

"1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (honesty is better)"

I'd like you to post about more interesting things! Was this clear? I tried my best not to use subtle hints. Honesty is best.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 10:07:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

my husband told me to put j/k so I won't look like an asshole.
so there:


At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 10:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see that you don't like what i post. It was clear right from your first ever comment. In all cases, I respect your opinion.

But the post is very honest and it's the truth, ask your husband and you will see!

And maybe you can post something, so that i could know what kind of posts you find "more interesting" :)

One last thing, no need to put (j/k) to hide your true meaning, we all know what you meant by your comment

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 10:40:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

I dont think it's a very honest post, you did not talk about porn for instance, which, I know for a fact, is a big part of every healthy (and less healthy) man's mental landscape.

And a post that limits men's interactions with women to questions about shoes, clothes, personal appearance and nagging... well I don't think it is as "honest" as you would like to call it.

Of course, I could just "lighten up" and laugh at the fact that this was just meant as a "joke"; but I get enough of these in email forwards.

I don't post anything on this blog because:
1- I am not a contributor
2- I do not wish to become one
3- I like to read and comment

Just because one has access to posting does not mean one can post anything.

Wait til I get access and talk with passion about my cat's dietary problems.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


thank you for ur contribution to my post

i'm not gunna reply bak at wht u said, because i hate to be dragged into such meaningless debates

you don't like what i post, u can simply NOT read it. I'm getting positive feedback from lotsa other people. And it is a free country after all :)

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:07:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

Ah whatever.

i'm not GUNNA reply BAK either ;-)

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:19:00 PM, Blogger Eve said...

I once was two hours late for a gathering because a friend never admitted he was lost. we ended up taking the wrong turn. the turn he insisted was right of course. anyway, it turned out to be a nice meshwar after all :) thanks for posting this Failasoof & keep them coming!

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally agree with the getting lost, I have so many guy friends who feels its shameful to ask for directions.
I don't care, I ask.
and in fact, I am exploiting this thing that men don't ask for directions in a buisness that I am gonna start after I finish my studies :P.
already working on it, finished the feasilbility study (GREAT), now doing the buisness plan

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 11:39:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

I think that's what GPS were created for..

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 12:32:00 AM, Blogger laila said...


At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 3:21:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

callipyge...it works different and discrete :P.

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 8:13:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hebo ba3ed :)

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:00:00 AM, Blogger MMMMMMMMM said...


Did you enjoy eve's post? cause it does not differ much from Failasoof's

GPS in Lebanon does not work...no road maps :D

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:09:00 AM, Blogger nobilis tobilis said...

I always get lost, but I never asked for directions because I like to find the way by myself, which makes it easier for me the next time I take the same road.

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:37:00 AM, Blogger Charles Malik said...

I completely agree. It all goes back to honesty and frankness. Be honest people, especially about directions (the only thing I disagree with you about).

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 10:04:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Halla2 it's not a 100% honest post ya Failasoof. Its all stereotypes.

I personally hate shopping, I quickly get dressed, I love sports, hate being distracted from TV, etc... by the posts standards, I guess I am a guy!

2- As for the girl giving subtle hints aw saying exactly what she wants, well based on experience, most guys (in Leb) are intimidated by a straight up girl.

In consequence, girls try to ask for what they want in a subtle way. They don't want to insult anyone's intelligence!

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 10:10:00 AM, Blogger callipyge said...

mmmmmmmmmm: I can't read arabic. But maybe it's better that way ;-)

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 10:15:00 AM, Blogger Happy Arab said...

Someone sounds frustrated with women...

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 12:15:00 PM, Blogger MMMMMMMMM said...

Failasoof,Coming to think of it, my guess would be that Calli is enjoying teasing you! And you are clearly giving her that joy :D

So this makes her the teaser, and you the teasee :D no offense

Cheerz mate!

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 12:29:00 PM, Blogger nobilis tobilis said...

Callipyge, maybe the problem (not really a problem) is that you dont read arabic, otherwise, you would have understood why FailASoof wrote this post (to reply to eve and rat's post, which was in arabic), although I don't totally agree on what Failasoof posted.

Peace :)

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 1:28:00 PM, Blogger MarxistFromLebanon said...

luckily for Failasoof that Simone De Beauvoir is not present and a blogger :P

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 3:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

callipyge may have forgotten it's a lebanese forum :)

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 6:56:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

abu bitar: define what you mean by "lebanese forum". If it's about the arabic, then I don't think I've asked peeps to "stop writing in arabic dudes".

marxist: yup, poor Simone would be spinnin' in her grave.

nobilis: I think you are right. But I would have been as upset at stereotypes about men as I am about stereotypes about women, so who knows.

mmmmmmm: who doesn't enjoy teasing people? who? unfortch', I do believe there was a significant percentage of me that truly does not enjoy stereotyping of women. Especially in a country like Lebanon where the treatment of women like meaningless pieces of crap is institutionalized and on government papers.

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 7:29:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks alot for all those who supported me, and those who disagree with me (including our most-comment-in-one-day-winner callipyge!)

I agree there is a certain degree of "generalization" in the rules, but you have to set some sort of "common ground" at the end. And I trully believe that better understanding of how the other half think is the way for good relation, regardless of what you think is right or wrong.

The rules state that! Ennu the main idea is: Ladies, men think in different way than you, so what you consider "silly" is considered "essential" and vice versa. Understanding how he thinks, helps you to communicate better with him. (the same thing goes for men akid)

As for teasing, I don think i was the teasee, w fehmkon kfeye! :P

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 7:38:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes yes we need more real teasing :P

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 7:50:00 PM, Blogger callipyge said...

You're quite right in saying that understanding how the other gender thinks can you help you better communicate them. But I still believe this can be done without resorting to stereotypes and that is how self-help books and psychology reports/studies manage to do so: without offending/diminishing either side.

I was thinking of one thing. Everybody is now giggling at this women vs. men thing, but imagine someone posted something similar about muslims vs. christians to help people understand each other better and make extensive use of stereotypes (catholics are motivated by guilt-trips, muslims are motivated by honor, druze are motivated by paranoia). Would people still be giggling? Or tearing at each other's throats? Well, I consider myself to be a woman before being sunni or shia or whatever. Insults to my gender affect me as much, if not more, than insults thrown at my religion or my nationality.

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 8:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i didn't offend your gender, and i didn't intend to. In fact, if you read the rules carefully, u'd see that it's making fun of both genders. Both men and women have "stupid, meaningless, and irrational" behaviors; men go crazy for watching a game on TV, even if it was a reply! And women go crazy if things at home are NOT done exactly how they think it should be done! (for the "generalization" issue, akid not all men and not al women do that).

One more time, the idea is not to think what's right and what's wrong, it's just understanding how the other half thinks and behaves, regardless of reasonability of his/her actions and behave.

u should be trying to calm things down, not encourage the "teasing" game :P

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 10:03:00 PM, Blogger Fadi said...

Yeslamli Rabbak. Nothing more to say. If women really want to understand men, they should take it fair and square, and read carefully what failasoof wrote. That's how at least two men think (I join forces with failasoof).

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 10:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thx for ur unlimited support. Glad you got my point.

and just to be fair, men should do the same too (read carefully and try to understand that women think differently than men).

thx again, fadi :)

At Thursday, January 18, 2007 9:37:00 AM, Blogger nobilis tobilis said...

I think that even among women, there are differences, although stereotypes exist but I don't like to generalize. This applies for men as well.

At Thursday, January 18, 2007 1:07:00 PM, Blogger MarxistFromLebanon said...

sounds like the Movie Anchor Man

At Sunday, January 21, 2007 10:00:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear, when you overemphasized the word found and it being the past tense, you make look into the details of your writing not the idea...and you fell into a trap you created for yourself:"I didn't came up with them" well...it is i didn't come up with them.....wajoba al tawdee7...

At Monday, January 22, 2007 1:06:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

seems you are the only one who cares enough about english grammer my friend, that you have time to waste on correcting others mistakes.

in all cases, thank you for your correction, I'll try NOT to make the same mistake again :)

At Tuesday, January 23, 2007 8:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually i dont have time, but your BIG BOLD FOUND attracted my attention thats it....
wajoba al tawdee7 doc ;)


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