11.10.06

New York, New York Vs. Beirut, Beirut

I'll give New York the Cheesecake. You will not find a decent slice of Cheesecake in Beirut, but your dessert cravings have a million other ways to be satisfied in Beirut anyways. I'll also give them Italian food. In Beirut, serve Chef Boyardee's microwaveable dishes and you become an Italian cuisine staple worthy of hosting heads of states. But the rest is all Beirut's.

New York has the highest Starbucks infestation rate in the world. Beirut has only 6 cases, it'll be 7 or 8 by the time I finish this sentence but we are still in much better shape than the Big Apple. Big Apple? What a fruity name, not that there's anything wrong with that. Isn't that false advertising? You'd think the streets of the city are lined up with apple groves, when the only sign of botanical life is restricted to that horse manure filled tourist trap in the center of town. They so creatively call it "Central" park.

In Beirut, we've got vegetation growing on cement, yet you don't see us bragging about fake "green" qualities of our city.

Yellow cabs? We've got them, along with red cabs, blue cabs, cabs with colored patches, rusty cabs, you name it. Plus by the time you tell your beloved yellow cab driver "53rd and 6th" you would owe him more than it costs you to get anywhere in Beirut and back without having to put up with Liza Minelli telling you to buckle up.

Cats still going strong all over Beirut this winter. Every night, all night.

New York has Letterman and Conan. Beirut has Bin Jiddo and Nishan.

In Beirut, you drive up to Buddha Bar on Friday night and throw your car keys to the Valet driver while striding galantly in front of fascinated onlookers. In NYC, you can do the same thing but it'll cost you 43,562 USD ($34,000 if you self park).

New York has Wall Street where the world's biggest corporations are traded openly. It was the inspiration for one big movie. Beirut has banking secrecy laws which make it perfect grounds for the world's biggest heists; inspiration for thousands of dreams, movies, and wars.

New York claims to be "the city that never sleeps". Oh Really!? Try sleeping in Beirut first and then come back to me.

The list goes on and on, but I just wanted to warn our fellow bloggers not to be blinded by lights of a "Weekend in the City". We all know where it's really at. Beirut, Beirut.

10 Comments:

At Wednesday, October 11, 2006 6:33:00 PM, Blogger hillz said...

ouch!
3el2et.
:P

 
At Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:17:00 PM, Blogger Eve said...

lol! yekhreb zou2ak :D

 
At Wednesday, October 11, 2006 7:34:00 PM, Blogger hashem said...

That was so funny!
it was the people that met at nyc that made the weekend....in nyc...and carrying Beirut in their hearts. Can you beat that?

 
At Wednesday, October 11, 2006 10:58:00 PM, Blogger jooj said...

I have three words for you.
Jealousy, jealousy and jealousy.

 
At Thursday, October 12, 2006 12:50:00 AM, Blogger Mirvat said...

yeah jamal you missed the point. it was about the people and about beirut.. that's all we talked about anyway.. the meeting could've very well been bloggers in missouri and it would've been as great! just because we're away from home and we found beirut in each other.. so don't be jealous :)

having said that you have to give it to nyc that it's the best place to be in the US and canada and that nothing compares to it on this side of the world no? but this was funny anyway

 
At Thursday, October 12, 2006 1:00:00 AM, Blogger arch.memory said...

Jamal, good one! LOL!

 
At Thursday, October 12, 2006 1:14:00 AM, Blogger Maya@NYC said...

hahahah...hilarious jamal (as always)...i think you are "selling" Beirut to the wrong crowd though: the meeting was all about Beirut!
Mirvat made a good point: NYC is THE best place in USA...Missouri? by 1 am, the pub would have turned the lights on signaling our time to go to sleep...
maybe it doesn't have to be "New York, New York" vs "Beirut, Beirut"... trying to make it "New York, Beirut"...

 
At Thursday, October 12, 2006 6:08:00 AM, Blogger Blacksmith Jade said...

Well written and entertaining...I liked it.

 
At Thursday, October 12, 2006 8:39:00 AM, Blogger gitanes legeres said...

ya jamal, ya 3ayni, we all luv BEIRUT, min nouss deen NYC.
mnee7 heik??

 
At Friday, October 13, 2006 3:03:00 AM, Blogger Doc said...

Entertaining. Nighlife in NYC does not compare to nightlife in Beirut...that's just the tip of the iceberg. The people make the city, mahek?

 

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